The more exciting a movie is, the easier it is to write a review of that film. If it is excitingly good, its easy to rave about the neat and fascinating aspects you want to share with happiness with others. If the film is excitingly bad, its easy to rant about all the lame and annoying aspects with warning for others. If a film is neither excitingly good or bad, but only luke warm, it’s easy to spew out of the memory of your movie going experience from your mind.
‘The Apple Dumpling Gang’ is one step above luke warm. The picture is sort of fun, very friendly and somewhat charming and rather bland old west comedy. The blandness comes from the 3 orphans in which most of the central story-lines orbit around. The children are Bobby (Clay O’ Brien), who is the oldest and leader of his siblings, Clovis (Brad Savage), who doesn’t like to be touched and kicks people who do, and sweet cute little Celia (Stacy Manning), who always has to go to the bathroom. She always does a good job looking cute and cuddly. That is the extent of the children’s personalities.
The three orphans are in the care of gambler and gentlemen Russel Donovan (Bill Bixby from TV's "The Incredible Hulk"). They entered his care because during a card game he agreed to pick up a delivery, in which he was paid $5.00, for a dishonest con-man. The delivery turned out to be the Orphans. Legally, Homer McCoy (Harry Morgan) who is the Town Sheriff as well as the Justice of the Peace and town barber of Quake City, CA, binds him with the threat of a hanging if he doesn’t fulfill his obligation to take care of the young-ins. The judge is one of the more bright apples in this picture. In an effort to give them a good home, so he can flee his responsibilities and go to New Orleans, he tries to pawn them off to the good folks of the town to no avail.
When the kids aren’t standing around as scenery, their searching for gold in their father’s abandon gold mine. This venture into the mining business leads first of all to a runaway mining cart wrecking havoc as it rolls uncontrollably through town. This includes the destruction of a Chinese Laundry camp, a $300 mirror, and the destruction of the one man band machine that the owner yelled at the kids for touching earlier in the day.
The search for gold actually pans out due to an earthquake that uncovered a gold nugget. This little discovery brings out the romantic storyline of the film between Donavon and Magnolia ‘Dusty’ Clydesdale’ (Susan Clark) the tough Tom Boy stage coach driver. The romantic chemistry between these two is as electrifying as a rock. The lackluster romance does produce a semi-amusing scene of Dusty throwing objects at Donavon in the local bar. The gold also brings out an assortment of unsavory characters, including the only two characters whom actually make the film worth remembering as a Classic Disney Comedy; Amos and Theodore.
Amos (Tim Conway) and Theodore (Don Knots) are the ‘Hash Night Outfit’, (not the Apple Dumpling Gang). At one point in the film as Donavan is preparing to cook his dinner consisting of salt pork, which looks like nothing but fat to cute little Cecilia, who asks him why he can’t cook apple dumplings for her and her brothers. Later after the gold is discovered, the children are seen happily eating Apple Dumplings. That is the extent to which Apple Dumplings turn up in the film and thus the reason for the title of the film.
Getting back to the dynamic due of buffoonery, Amos and Theodere are the poster children for ‘America's Dumbest Criminals. They are Laurel and Hardy gone bad. They are wanna be villains channeling Jerry Lewis. They were kicked out of a high falootin toot-in band of villains when Amos shot the boss in the leg. Every robbery attempt they manage to try ends up in failure and something being destroyed. When they steal a ladder from the fire station for a hold up, windows are smashed and the ladder doesn’t live to help fight another fire. When they try to rob a bank they end up hanging by a rope from the ceiling in front of the bank vault. The 2nd time they try to rob the bank they bring dynamite. The impending result is obvious.
As I have said before if it wasn’t for this duo of mayhem, the blandness of this picture would prevent it from being remembered as a Disney comedy classic. The few action scenes that they have, which include an old fashioned fire truck floating down the river and the runaway mine cart aren’t convincing enough in special effects to be totally divorced from disbelief. Although, the scene where the old fashion fire truck chases a runaway cart on fire travailing down the muddy streets is quite amusing.
Despite the bland kids, lackluster, romance, and not-so special effects this film is a somewhat enjoyable helping of Apple Dumplings. It’s overall wholesome and clean. It’s not as good as some other family films, but a heck of a lot better then most of the bad apples coming out of hollywood today.
For a better Disney western comedy try ‘Hot Lead and Cold Feet’. It has a better helping of romance, kids, and Don Knots. For more of Theodore and Amos try ‘The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again’.
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